hotel_asia (hotel_asia) wrote,


So, Odagiri Joe is staying on the third floor. And Kyo has some kind of fascination with shopping at Walmart. Since the first is really just me freaking out and Himitsu smacking me while poor Joe stares at me in horror, I'll get to the more interesting story.

Kyo at Walmart. Or rather, Super Walmart.

Oh. Dear. God.

Of course, it wasn't just Kyo. Oh no. It was Kyo, me, HeeChul (he's taken to following Kyo around with his jaw on the floor whenever he's not too busy shoving his tongue down Miyavi's throat - the two of us make an interesting picture whenever our beloved Prophet's around)... and Gackt. Because some asshole (I'm pretty sure it was Jin. remind me to tie him down and...erm...ahem. moving on...) let it slip that Walmart sells sharp, pointy objects.

After twenty minutes of HeeChul, me, and (briefly) two sixty-something-year-old security guards chasing them around while they chased each other with butcher knives, yours truly came up with a brillant plan:

Rella-babe and I herded them toward the toy department, and I grabbed the first thing I could find to stop them.

Hitting Gackt in the face with an aluminum baseball bat was fun. I hope I get to do it again. I mean, he does look kind of funny with an uneven number of missing teeth.

Disarming Kyo wasn't quite as easy. It was decided that I would take the most dangerous role: the decoy. I screeched "kawaii" at the top of my lungs, and while he was distracted by tripping over the unconcious sell-out on the floor to kill me, HeeChul jumped on his back and, after a few minutes of struggling, managed to take the knife away.

I spent the next ten minutes on my hands and knees, bowing and apologizing profusely. Then, HeeChul made it all better by reminding Kyo that "dis Womaad hass a purroduce suction, MAN!"

Amazingly, the warumono understood him.

Unfortunately, I was unable to prevent the fruit war that followed, so somewhere between grape mini-missiles, lemon and lime granades, and watermelon bombs, we were kicked out.

And where, you might ask, was Himitsu during all this? Getting pampered. Lucky whore.

Shinya and I agreed that it was unfair that her inability to handle as much sexiness at once as I can caused her to miss out on a day of drinking and spoiling, so while I was stuck babysitting three insane crackheads, two whom I used to worship, she was getting sloshed with her favorite bishies and then, from what I heard later (as I was washing pineapple out of my hair), she got a full-body massage.

From Die.

And apparently SungMin gave her a manicure. And DongHae wouldn't let her move until he gave her a pedicure. Apparently, the boy has a foot fetish. *shudder*

So, to recap: I fangirled over Odagiri Joe, and then spent the afternoon chasing three grown men around a department store, until we were banned and threatened with restraining orders (because Kyo found sporting goods. or, more specifically, the hunting knives in sporting goods. he didn't want to leave). AND I had to carry Gag home because we didn't dare let Kyo touch him, and HeeChul could barely lift the Botox Queen's arm.

And Himitsu got spoiled by drunken Jrockers and flaming fairies.

I better get a kiss from YehSung tomorrow. Or at least a hug from Joe. *pout*
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